Have you read the fine print in your electricity and gas bills recently? You should.
Apparently, the marketers at PG&E, our California supplier of gas and electricity, decided to adopt mobile carrier language to explain surcharges on gas and juice (I mean electricity and natural gas, sorry).
Here's the explanation found at the bottom of my current bill:
"Generation includes charges for the portion of your energy usage provided by the Department of Water Resources (DWR) and is being collected by PG&E as an agent for DWR [Me: I always like agents]. DWR is collecting 8.640 cents per kWh from Bundled customers [Me: Must be anyone who wears lots of extra clothing with the thermostat at 55] for each kWh it provides plus the Power Charge Indifference Adjustment component [Me: I admire companies--especially utilities--who are indifferent but adjustable; components are good too, like my stereo] of the Cost Responsibility Surcharge [Me: In these troubled times, everyone should pay a surcharge to be responsible] from Direct Access and Transitional Bundled Service customers [Me: Hmm...is that when you put on another coat?]
The rates shown above are applicable to bundled service customers [Me: Got it]. Direct Access and Community Choice Aggregation customers [Me: Maybe I should aggregate more on FaceBook and Twitter] pay only a portion of these rates. Please see the appropriate rate schedule for the applicable charges.
In these tight economic times, I think our utility companies should contribute to our austere lifestyles. So... I have a proposal for PG&E and other utility companies. Let's call it "The $99 per Month Plan," which includes all the gas and juice you can drain out of the system. (See my Verizon post: "News Release: Verizon Wireless Announces $99 'Talk All you Want with Rollover Plan.'"
Like it? If so, call your local utility company today. If the customer service rep is reluctant, just yell out "I'm mad as Hell and I won't take it anymore." Or your could sell off your utility stocks. Ooops, not that. You'll increase deflation.
In any case, "bundle up"! Things can only get better.
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