Today I went to traffic court in Alameda County, California, to clear up an unpaid $29 "administrative fee" California charges for traffic school. In July of last year, I got my first moving violation since high school for not yielding right-of-way. I had paid the fine and took the prescribed traffic school course--both online--but didn't see the $29 "administrative fee" shown on Alameda County's website. To remove the infraction from my DMV record, I had to appear in front of a judge and explain.
Around 9 a.m. this morning,
about 75 traffic violators were herded into the courtroom as we waited for the temporary judge.
Having never been in a traffic courtroom, I was expecting something like "Judge Judy" without the humor, until I started listening to the traffic violators' reasons for not paying their fines, DUI infractions, community service and, the strangest of all, the guy who claimed he couldn't make his previous court appearance because he was in the hospital with kidney failure. (That one was strange. I kept wondering if he would suddenly collapse and die in the front of the judge.)
Before going into some of the strange stories I heard, I must say the judge was cordial. After reviewing each file, especially if he couldn't figure out why the person was in court, he looked straight into the transgressor's eyes and, with a smile, asked "so, what can I do for you today?"--similar to a retail sales person asking a shopper "may I help you?"
While the experience differed a lot from buying a pair of shoes at Macy's, the judge's questions and demeanor made me think: "Isn't this marketing? Perhaps, forced marketing, but the experience had all the elements: A need or pain (in this case, protecting drivers and the public from dangerous people on the road); an offer (forced) to resolve the need (fines, community service, driving courses, jail), product & pricing strategies (running red lights was hot--and most expensive) and in our Internet age, the most sophisticated metrics and measurement systems on the Web. Government, indeed, is big business, requiring big marketing budgets.
In my usual style, here is a dialogue between defendent and judge I heard (true, not made up):
- Judge: "I see you ran a red light. Under section xxxxx, that's an automatic $350 fine. How do you plead?"
- Defendent: "Well, I guess not guilty."
- Judge: "Do you have pictures? (California takes a lot of automatic pictures with strategically located cameras.)
- Defendent: "Yes, but they're at home."
- Judge: "I should mention to everyone in the courtroom I'm willing to consider your case, but you must bring pictures."
- Defendent: "Can I go home and get them?"
- Judge: "I'll give you two weeks. Clerk, schedule the defendent for 2/15 at 9 a.m."
- Defendent: "Thank you, your honor."
During the break, while we listened to an audio recording about our rights and such, it became clear that the judge was taking the most serious cases first and seemed quite lenient about some extreme cases--failure to show up at previous court sessions, using pot while driving, expired or suspended drivers' licenses and young drivers with multiple offenses. The judge smiled a lot too (He definitely worked in retail--well, not Target).
Here's the good one (I added a little drama):
- Judge: "You're charged under section xxxxx for two moving violations, failure to appear and driving with a suspended license. How do you plead?"
- Defendent: "Well, I think guilty, but you must understand I was in the hospital for four weeks after I suffered kidney failure."
- Me: ["My God, man, are you breathing?"]
- Judge: "Well, when did this happen?"
- Defendent: "Just before my court appearance."
- Judge: "Why were you driving with a suspended license?"
- Defendent: "I had to drive to the hospital."
- Judge: "But you failed to appear in court on the first charge before you went to the hospital."
- Defendent: "Yes, you're right about that one."
- Judge: "So?"
- Defendent: "So, what?"
- Judge: "Why didn't you appear on the first charge?"
- Defendent: "Well, you see, Judge, it's like this. My Mom isn't too well, and I had to drive to take care of her."
- Judge: "So, you drove to see your Mom with a suspended license?"
- Defendent: "Sort of...yeah."
- Judge: "Was that on the same day you received your second violation?"
- Defendent: "Yes, I was in such a hurry to get to my Mom's, I must have driven too fast."
- Judge: "Says here, you were driving 50mph in a 25mph zone near a school."
- Defendent: "Really?"
- Judge: "Yes."
- Defendent: "So..."
- Judge: "So, why?"
- Defendent: "Well, you know..."
- Judge: "Know what?"
- Defendent: "Why I did it."
- Judge: "Did what?"
- Defendent: "Drove too fast."
- Judge: "To get to your Mom's."
- Defendent: "Right."
- Judge: "So what happened?"
- Defendent: "She wasn't home."
- Judge: "Where was she?"
- Defendent: "At the hospital."
- Judge: "So you drove then to the hospital?"
- Defendent: "Right."
- Judge: "That's when you got the second ticket?"
- Defendent: "Yeah."
- Judge: "...Driving 60mph with a 40mph limit."
- Defendent: "Close...I think it was 58mph."
- Judge: "Do you realize how dangerous it is to drive so fast?"
- Defendent: "Absolutely."
- Judge: "So why?"
- Defendent: Why What?"
- Judge: "Your speed..."
- Defendent: "Oh, I wasn't taking drugs."
- Judge: "No, your driving speed."
- Defendent: "Oh, right."
- Judge: "Right, what?"
- Defendent: "I was driving fast."
- Judge: "So, why?"
- Defendent: "To get to the hospital."
- Judge: "...due to your Mom."
- Defendent: "Correct."
- Judge: "So, what happened?"
- Defendent: "Oh, my Mom was o.k. That's when I had kidney failure."
- Judge: "Dismissed."
At least half of the driving violators today were re-scheduled for a follow-up court appearance.